Week 3 and 4 of our journey

Wow both R and I are feeling much better. I was able to cook basically for two days straight for Christmas. That hasn’t happened for at least a year and a half. We both took a hiatus from our no sugar and gluten free diet for Christmas and paid for it. Our whole digestive track complained big time and I was so worn out the 26th. I slept most of the day with rumbles in my tumblies!

Then the 27th came and went with me feeling better. Then both R and I on the 28th feel very good again. I have gotten so much done lately I am loving it.

I have found some good recipes that i am plugging into our weekly menu plan and some not to include. So far the supplements seem to be helping a little with the joint pain and the mental fog, but I am seeing the biggest change by what we eat. I am going to try some new things to add to our daily routine of our healing journey in the next couple weeks!

Stay tuned for an update and also some new things we are adding for probiotic help and energy! 2017 I hope brings us healing!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

My BFF

“Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us togeder tooday. Mawage, that bwessed awangment, that dweam wifin a dweam… And wuv, tru wuv, will fowow you foweva… So tweasure your wuv.”Princess Bride Clergyman

I have always loved that quote from my favorite movie. The movie always made me laugh and long for the “tru wuv”. Than I met Joe. The love (or wuv) of my life. We have experienced much sickness and health and rich and poor; ups and down swings. Many fights and many apologies. Lots of snuggles with some irritated push aways too. We have cried together but rarely alone.

23 years…some days I think it was just yesterday when I was so “Joe Crazy” and some days I feel like I can read his mind and know what he is about to say. Except when he is in engineering mode…I just don’t get most of that. But I love it when he talks Engineering to me. Yes it goes over my head, but I enjoy him trying to explain it to me and see the excitement that sometimes comes in his eyes.

We have been through a rough year with my Lyme disease. On top of being so sick there is plenty of stress that occurs when trying to nurture our children and all that surrounds that attempt! A couple weeks ago my husband got me all giddy again…you know where the butterflies happen in your stomach?! For those who don’t know my man, Joe isn’t a small talker or romantic. When he tries to talk in a romantic or sexy way he usually has me crying from laughter because it just isn’t him. So back to a couple weeks ago. We were discussing all the hardships of raising three special needs kids. Then trying to balancing 1 adult (also has Lyme) child still at home and a 16 year old taking college level classes. Not counting homeschooling and all the other details. I was crying and just at one of my weakest moments when very softly Joe told me, “I couldn’t do all this without you and I am so glad we have each other.” Yep my heart melted!

I am so thankful for my husband. We have now been together longer than we lived with our parents or at least single. Thank you Joe for being THE MAN of this family. My lover and provider but most of all my best friend. Love you BFF!!!

 

week 2 of the journey

Hello friends! So update on how we are doing with our new journey towards wellness. Been doing only whole earth foods and cut out all white shade foods. It has been going very well but even with portions cut I still am not loosing even an ounce…more like gained a pound. I drink over 90 ounces of water also. My digestive track seems to be doing well but I have not noticed much improvements in my health. In fact my brain fog and thoughts have been seeming to get worse. Why that is I don’t know. It makes it hard to even type this blog.

I will again check in next week to let you know how it is going.

Our New Journey

And so a new journey begins. Many of you do not know my daughter (R) and my journey with Lyme. So let me try to do a brief summary.

3 to 4 years prior from this year R started having fatigue issues along with migraines. It continued to get worse and the pediatrician ran test and then said it was stress and needed to see a counselor. So we did. Things got worse and joints started hurting too. This same time I also was having these symptoms and was told I was getting old…I had just turned 40…thanks doctor. I have a high tolerance of pain so I guess I didn’t complain enough.

Fast forward to November 2015. R started getting severe side pains and major fatigue with just feeling like crap. Pediatrician said she needed to see a counselor again after I asked him to test her for Lyme and do an ultrasound of  her gallbladder. I took her to the ER and they ran the tests. Two days later got her in with my doctor since she was almost an adult anyways and he ordered a hide scan. By the next week, two days before Christmas, she found out she had Lyme and was having her gallbladder removed due to it not working and full of infection. February we started drive 4 1/2 hours one way to a Lyme specialist. Then I discovered I had Lyme and went in March to specialist. That is when we aggressively started our antibiotic protocol. We got really sick to the point I was rush by ambulance to ER. Driving was impossible for a couple months and walking at times was very hard. We have a wheelchair and canes. September 2016 we went back to the specialist. Again more antibiotics. Because of the antibiotics R got severely sick with C-Diff in end of December and all of November. In fact she still isn’t back to normal and I am taking her back to doctor this afternoon. with C-Diff we would be risking a lot to go back on an Antibiotic protocol.

So that is the new journey we will be on. Yes I may still be able to do antibiotics but I do not want to make her do something different than me. Therefore I will join her. What are we doing now? All natural eating and supplements. In the weeks to follow I am hoping to document our journey and I am hoping to be document our healing. This seems like a daunting task. I hope you will join me in this journey.

This week we are adding drinking 90 ounces of water a day, cutting back on Gluten, and adding supplements. Vitamin D3 10,000 IU, CoQ10 for our brain and nervous system and joint pains, Cordycep for stress, B-complex for fatigue, Omega 3 with astaxanthin for brain, Magnesium, Turmeric for the anti-inflammatory benefits, and a Probotic that has at least 8 strains and 50 billion units. Whew…let the process begin.

My Masks are Off

Today I talked to my Jr. High and High School students in our homeschool co-op about the masks we wear. Masks we put on to go to church, mask we put on for our extended families, masks we put on for neighbors and also for strangers. I have really had my eyes open lately as I have prepared for the lesson today. All my life I have been trying to be a people pleaser. It really would bother me if someone was upset with me or thought bad of me. Sleep would was robbed from me and some of my days would be spent trying to figure out how to make them like me again.

I was raised that wearing a mask was normal. My beloved dad was a pastor and as sure as we pulled into the parking lot of the church our masks would go on. The knock on the door would come and we would have to put on the perfect family mask again. When all hell broke loose in my family and people saw the real us, my dad went into a depression. That instilled in me to master my masks. Pain got stuffed deep inside and I became the child that would try to make everyone get alone and be happy.

One time I was driving past a neighbor and I had chapped lips and I licked them. Well she turned around and followed me to where I was getting out at my house. She asked why I had stuck my tongue out at her. I was taken aback. I replied that I hadn’t and that would not be a thing I would do. After she said a couple choice words and drove off in a huff I realized what I had actually done…just licked my lips. It bugged me so much that someone thought I was mean. I knew she was a neighbor but did not know what house she lived in. I know it is silly, but it bugged me.

I realize that was unhealthy. In fact I now want to shout…FREEDOM!! My only concern is that I am in the will of my God which is between Him and I. So much time was wasted dwelling on what others were thinking in their head or saying with their mouth.  My very close friends, husband and children do see the real me. Am I glad they are sticking with me!! I finally feel like I can be myself around everyone and yes some people aren’t going to like me and that is OK. My masks are off.

 

A Letter to Abandon and My Response

I want to let you know that i have removed the name of the lady who sent this too me. She is very old and I have known her most of my life. I wrote in CAPS because she can not see very well. First you will see her letter I received a week ago and second is my response. Yes this is real. Many people view this about adopted children. This is not the first negative letter or comment I have ever gotten. The letter she wrote to me was in response from a letter that I had sent to her requesting prayer for the behaviors I was having to deal with from my adopted children (especially one). I went to her because she is known as a prayer warrior. I was very down when I emailed her and just needed encouragement. This is what I got:

good evening [ just don’t know how to write this but after reading your last message i just have to tellyou how i feel and i have been talking to the lord jesus and feel he is with me//[i prayed many days befor you adopted the children and felt in my heart you were not thinking about your own girls//they were at an age when they really needed councle and love//the ones you adopted will always be a burdan for they are from delinkwent parents//the children need to be put in homes where there ar kids like them with trained people to care for them//it is just born in them to never care who takes care of them as long as they get fed and they can run over you//christy i am worried about your health and you will get worse unless you get child welfare to come and take them and soon//i know you should go to your mother for a g9ood long rest and just eorget the children for they are why you are ill//they really will never miss you for they will get cared for//be best to have them in different homes//you never mention joe ,is he too busy to help you?i know the girles have suffered too//please think about it and take my advice,i know about this kind of trouble and what it is doing to your family please//i love you christy and want what is best for you//would like to hear from you much love _____

 

This is my response:

FIRST I WANT TO SAY I LOVE YOU AND I KNOW YOU LOVE ME.

JOE AND I PRAYED MANY YEARS ABOUT ADOPTING AND MANY MONTHS ABOUT ADOPTING THESE CHILDREN. THERE WERE MANY EVENTS AND MANY GODLY PEOPLE THAT CONFIRMED WE WERE TO ADOPT THESE CHILDREN.

WE ARE ADOPTED…OUR DELINQUENT PARENTS, ADAM AND EVE, FAILED US. WE ARE TO BE EXAMPLES OF JESUS. TO BE LIVING SACRIFICES FOR HIM, TO SHOW HOW HE ADOPTS US, HOW HE CAN LOVE SUCH A SINNER AS US. HERE ARE JUST A FEW VERSES ON ADOPTION:
Ephesians 1:5 ESV /

He predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will,

Matthew 18:5 ESV /

“Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me,

Galatians 4:5-7 ESV /

To redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons. And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!” So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God.

Romans 9:8 ESV /

This means that it is not the children of the flesh who are the children of God, but the children of the promise are counted as offspring.

John 1:12 ESV /

But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God,

1 John 3:1 ESV /

See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him.

 

I ALSO KNOW YOU GREATLY RESPECT JAMES DOBSON. HE ADOPTED HIS SON RYAN. JOHN HANCOCK WAS ADOPTED, RONALD REAGON ADOPTED, AND MANY MORE. IN BIBLICAL TIMES ADOPTION WAS VIEWED SO HIGHLY THAT SOMETIMES THE ADOPTEE HAD MORE RIGHTS THAN THE BIRTH CHILD.

I AM SO GRATEFUL THAT GOD ADOPTED ME AND GRAFTED ME INTO HIS FAMILY. HE HAS NOT AND WILL NOT DISOWN ME WHEN I DISOBEY HIM, WHICH HAS BEEN QUITE OFTEN UNFORTUNATELY.

MY “BIRTH” CHILDREN HAVE GIVEN ME GRIEF…BUT I WILL NOT ABANDON THEM. THEY HAVE GROWN SO MUCH FROM OUR ADOPTION. THEY HAVE LEARNED SOME HARD LESSONS ABOUT THE WORLD AND ABOUT THEIR HEARTS AND SELF CENTEREDNESS IN ALL OUR HEARTS. MY “BIRTH” CHILDREN HAVE CHANGED AND IT IS THEIR CHOICE TO ALLOW WHAT THEY HAVE LEARNED TO BE FOR THEIR GOOD OR BAD. WE ALL CAN CHOOSE TO ALLOW THE STUFF THAT COMES INTO OUR LIFE TO BE FOR GOOD OR BAD. THE ADOPTION HAS BEEN HARD ON THEM, BUT LIFE IS HARD. GOD DIDN’T CALL US TO LIVE ON EASY STREET. HE WANTS US TO GET OUT OF OUR COMFORT ZONE SO WE WILL GROW CLOSER TO HIM.

MY HUSBAND HAS BEEN MEAN AND CRUEL AT TIMES, (AND ME TO HIM) BUT I WILL NOT ABANDON HIM. I COMMITTED TO HIM IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH WHEN I MARRIED HIM. I ALSO HAVE COMMITTED TO ALL MY CHILDREN TO RAISE THEM THROUGH SICKNESS AND HEALTH.

A TICK CAUSED THIS SICKNESS. GOD HAS ALLOWED THIS TERRIBLE SICKNESS TO INVADE MY BODY AND I WILL NOT PUT THE BLAIM ON ANY PERSON FOR THIS DISEASE. NOT MY HUSBAND, NOT MY BIRTH CHILDREN NOR MY “FROM MY HEART” CHILDREN.

PARENTING IS DOG GONE HARD. EVEN HARDER TO PARENT CHILDREN THAT HAVE SPECIAL NEEDS FROM A BIRTH MOM THAT DID NOT LOVE THEM PROPERLY. BUT GUESS WHAT …GOD DIED FOR HER TOO AND WANTS TO ADOPT HER AS HIS CHILD!!! THESE CHILDREN ARE MINE, I LOVE THEM TO THE MOON AND BACK. DO I NEED PRAYER IN DEALING WITH THEIR BEHAVIORS?: YES! DO I NEED PHYSICAL HELP IN DEALING WITH MY CHILDREN? YES! ARE THEY TOUGH TO DEAL WITH AT TIMES? OH YES!!! BUT MY GOSH I HAVE GIVEN GOD A TOUGH TIME TOO!!!!

PRAISE THE LORD FOR AMAZING FRIENDS AND A HUSBAND WHO SURROUND ME AND LOVE ON ME. THEY ARE MY SUPPORT. JOE DOES COOKING AND LAUNDRY TO HELP ME EVEN WHEN HE WORKS SO HARD AT HIS JOB AND IS STRESSED FROM THAT. MY NEW CHURCH IS ONLY A PHONE CALL AWAY AND THEY WILL BE HERE FOR ME. THEY ALREADY HAVE DONE SO MUCH. GOD HAS SURROUNDED ME WITH A GREAT SUPPORT SYSTEM. YES I GET TIRED AND DOWN OVER THE MANY THINGS WE MUST FACE WITH THE ISSUES THAT OUR “LITTLES” HAVE.

I LOVE YOU, BUT YOUR WORDS HURT ME TO THE CORE. I WILL SAY RIGHT NOW I FORGIVE YOU SO I CAN SLEEP TONIGHT. ADOPTION IS GOD ORDAINED AND I WILL SERVE MY LORD. ALL MY KIDS ARE MY LOVES AND I WILL NOT ABANDON THEM.

LOVE,
CHRISTY

Please be in prayer that this letter is received graciously. I am learning to not seek prayer from people that want to give their personal opinion or seek any professional help from people that do not know how to keep their personally feelings from a professional response.

Blessed in the Midst of Lyme

I am sick of being sick. I never know when the debilitating fatigue, nausea, words not coming out of my mouth, migraines, chest pain, hot spots, night sweats, nervousness around crowds, evasion to noise and certain sites, a shaking reaction called herxing, depression/feeling low, and/or the frustrating memory fog that will grip my body. I can count on every morning struggling to get out of bed, my nighttime having to soak in a hot bath of epsom salts and lemongrass oil to relief pain in legs so I can go to sleep, and always can count on ole’ reliable, joint pain, just not the it’s severity.

When people ask how I’m doing, what am I to say? Okay, good, hanging in there? They are moments I just don’t want to be strong anymore. How can I be a mother and wife while I can’t move to even make a sandwich? I haven’t even hardly drove for 2 months because I don’t feel safe to do so. I always say, “Stay positive!”, yet I struggle to take my own advice.

So after all this whining and complaining I’m going to take my own advice….

When you feel so low and need help you defiantly learn who your friends are. Those friends who text to see how you’re doing, build walls and put in doors, put up with your whining and venting, those who bring meals so the family can have a good home cooked meal, drop of a hat saying a prayer when you text them for spiritual help, take me or my kids to appointments, send encouraging cards, spend the night when husband has to be on business trip, sending encouraging links, and so much more.

God has blessed me with a great friends and church. Do I hate to ask for help, yes. When it is offered I have learned to not say yes…so be warned! I am thankful so much for the help, yet I still wish I did not need it. I hope my healing does not take 2 to 4 years as the Lyme doctor predicts, but I know (yes doubt will still come) that I can make with with my wonderful friends!