I want to let you know that i have removed the name of the lady who sent this too me. She is very old and I have known her most of my life. I wrote in CAPS because she can not see very well. First you will see her letter I received a week ago and second is my response. Yes this is real. Many people view this about adopted children. This is not the first negative letter or comment I have ever gotten. The letter she wrote to me was in response from a letter that I had sent to her requesting prayer for the behaviors I was having to deal with from my adopted children (especially one). I went to her because she is known as a prayer warrior. I was very down when I emailed her and just needed encouragement. This is what I got:
good evening [ just don’t know how to write this but after reading your last message i just have to tellyou how i feel and i have been talking to the lord jesus and feel he is with me//[i prayed many days befor you adopted the children and felt in my heart you were not thinking about your own girls//they were at an age when they really needed councle and love//the ones you adopted will always be a burdan for they are from delinkwent parents//the children need to be put in homes where there ar kids like them with trained people to care for them//it is just born in them to never care who takes care of them as long as they get fed and they can run over you//christy i am worried about your health and you will get worse unless you get child welfare to come and take them and soon//i know you should go to your mother for a g9ood long rest and just eorget the children for they are why you are ill//they really will never miss you for they will get cared for//be best to have them in different homes//you never mention joe ,is he too busy to help you?i know the girles have suffered too//please think about it and take my advice,i know about this kind of trouble and what it is doing to your family please//i love you christy and want what is best for you//would like to hear from you much love _____
This is my response:
FIRST I WANT TO SAY I LOVE YOU AND I KNOW YOU LOVE ME.
JOE AND I PRAYED MANY YEARS ABOUT ADOPTING AND MANY MONTHS ABOUT ADOPTING THESE CHILDREN. THERE WERE MANY EVENTS AND MANY GODLY PEOPLE THAT CONFIRMED WE WERE TO ADOPT THESE CHILDREN.
WE ARE ADOPTED…OUR DELINQUENT PARENTS, ADAM AND EVE, FAILED US. WE ARE TO BE EXAMPLES OF JESUS. TO BE LIVING SACRIFICES FOR HIM, TO SHOW HOW HE ADOPTS US, HOW HE CAN LOVE SUCH A SINNER AS US. HERE ARE JUST A FEW VERSES ON ADOPTION:
Ephesians 1:5 ESV /
He predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will,
Matthew 18:5 ESV /
“Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me,
Galatians 4:5-7 ESV /
To redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons. And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!” So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God.
Romans 9:8 ESV /
This means that it is not the children of the flesh who are the children of God, but the children of the promise are counted as offspring.
John 1:12 ESV /
But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God,
1 John 3:1 ESV /
See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him.
I ALSO KNOW YOU GREATLY RESPECT JAMES DOBSON. HE ADOPTED HIS SON RYAN. JOHN HANCOCK WAS ADOPTED, RONALD REAGON ADOPTED, AND MANY MORE. IN BIBLICAL TIMES ADOPTION WAS VIEWED SO HIGHLY THAT SOMETIMES THE ADOPTEE HAD MORE RIGHTS THAN THE BIRTH CHILD.
I AM SO GRATEFUL THAT GOD ADOPTED ME AND GRAFTED ME INTO HIS FAMILY. HE HAS NOT AND WILL NOT DISOWN ME WHEN I DISOBEY HIM, WHICH HAS BEEN QUITE OFTEN UNFORTUNATELY.
MY “BIRTH” CHILDREN HAVE GIVEN ME GRIEF…BUT I WILL NOT ABANDON THEM. THEY HAVE GROWN SO MUCH FROM OUR ADOPTION. THEY HAVE LEARNED SOME HARD LESSONS ABOUT THE WORLD AND ABOUT THEIR HEARTS AND SELF CENTEREDNESS IN ALL OUR HEARTS. MY “BIRTH” CHILDREN HAVE CHANGED AND IT IS THEIR CHOICE TO ALLOW WHAT THEY HAVE LEARNED TO BE FOR THEIR GOOD OR BAD. WE ALL CAN CHOOSE TO ALLOW THE STUFF THAT COMES INTO OUR LIFE TO BE FOR GOOD OR BAD. THE ADOPTION HAS BEEN HARD ON THEM, BUT LIFE IS HARD. GOD DIDN’T CALL US TO LIVE ON EASY STREET. HE WANTS US TO GET OUT OF OUR COMFORT ZONE SO WE WILL GROW CLOSER TO HIM.
MY HUSBAND HAS BEEN MEAN AND CRUEL AT TIMES, (AND ME TO HIM) BUT I WILL NOT ABANDON HIM. I COMMITTED TO HIM IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH WHEN I MARRIED HIM. I ALSO HAVE COMMITTED TO ALL MY CHILDREN TO RAISE THEM THROUGH SICKNESS AND HEALTH.
A TICK CAUSED THIS SICKNESS. GOD HAS ALLOWED THIS TERRIBLE SICKNESS TO INVADE MY BODY AND I WILL NOT PUT THE BLAIM ON ANY PERSON FOR THIS DISEASE. NOT MY HUSBAND, NOT MY BIRTH CHILDREN NOR MY “FROM MY HEART” CHILDREN.
PARENTING IS DOG GONE HARD. EVEN HARDER TO PARENT CHILDREN THAT HAVE SPECIAL NEEDS FROM A BIRTH MOM THAT DID NOT LOVE THEM PROPERLY. BUT GUESS WHAT …GOD DIED FOR HER TOO AND WANTS TO ADOPT HER AS HIS CHILD!!! THESE CHILDREN ARE MINE, I LOVE THEM TO THE MOON AND BACK. DO I NEED PRAYER IN DEALING WITH THEIR BEHAVIORS?: YES! DO I NEED PHYSICAL HELP IN DEALING WITH MY CHILDREN? YES! ARE THEY TOUGH TO DEAL WITH AT TIMES? OH YES!!! BUT MY GOSH I HAVE GIVEN GOD A TOUGH TIME TOO!!!!
PRAISE THE LORD FOR AMAZING FRIENDS AND A HUSBAND WHO SURROUND ME AND LOVE ON ME. THEY ARE MY SUPPORT. JOE DOES COOKING AND LAUNDRY TO HELP ME EVEN WHEN HE WORKS SO HARD AT HIS JOB AND IS STRESSED FROM THAT. MY NEW CHURCH IS ONLY A PHONE CALL AWAY AND THEY WILL BE HERE FOR ME. THEY ALREADY HAVE DONE SO MUCH. GOD HAS SURROUNDED ME WITH A GREAT SUPPORT SYSTEM. YES I GET TIRED AND DOWN OVER THE MANY THINGS WE MUST FACE WITH THE ISSUES THAT OUR “LITTLES” HAVE.
I LOVE YOU, BUT YOUR WORDS HURT ME TO THE CORE. I WILL SAY RIGHT NOW I FORGIVE YOU SO I CAN SLEEP TONIGHT. ADOPTION IS GOD ORDAINED AND I WILL SERVE MY LORD. ALL MY KIDS ARE MY LOVES AND I WILL NOT ABANDON THEM.
Please be in prayer that this letter is received graciously. I am learning to not seek prayer from people that want to give their personal opinion or seek any professional help from people that do not know how to keep their personally feelings from a professional response.